At nine years old, I stopped drawing forever. And I understood why three days ago.

[Acceso a la 🇪🇸 versión en español aquí]

My mother, my grandmother, my favorite teacher. They adored me as a child. They told me I was smart, that I drew well, that I wrote well, that I spoke well. And without knowing it, they built me a cage. My golden cage.

Because if you're the special one, the smart one, the good one — you can't risk not being that anymore.

At nine years old, newly arrived at a new school, the teacher told me: "Loto, 8.5, your drawing is good, though not as good as Fran's." And I never drew again.

When my saxophone teacher told me that if I didn't practice I wasn't going to play well — I stopped going to class. Because my identity wasn't in the saxophone, it was in being the talented one. And if I had to put in effort, I lost my status. I stayed inside my comfort zone, inside the things I was "especially" good at, and I kept closing myself in.

[And you — is there something you stopped doing as a kid because someone told you weren't good enough at it?]

The pain of that cage led me to escape. At 13, into drugs.

But at 16, something happened.

My mother sent me over 6,000 miles away — from near Barcelona to near Córdoba, Argentina, where my father lived in a therapeutic and spiritual community. And in just a few weeks, surrounded by kinder people, living with more care and respect for themselves and others, I experienced something I had no name for back then.

A presence. A beauty always accessible within. The same one that sneaks in with a sunset, with a loved one's touch, or a bite of food that lights up your whole palate…

And something in me thought: I need to learn to live like this, and tell the whole world how to do it too…

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My whole obsession these past years has been finding the first domino piece.

If you place one domino in front of another twice its size, and repeat that enough times, you can knock down one the size of the Eiffel Tower just by touching the first. There's an entire book dedicated to this idea — The One Thing.

Becoming a monk and teaching meditation — one piece. Writing a book — another piece. The Hawimi Circles — another piece, more intimate, more powerful. But none of these reach billions of people.

Google does — used by over 5 billion humans, who together run more than 13.7 billion searches every day.

Hawimi.ai, the conscious search engine, is that first piece.

Doesn't matter if you're searching for red sandals in Madrid, organic vegetables in Manhattan, or travel luggage online. Hawimi.ai gives you the kindest option available on the planet, with the lowest negative impact — or the highest positive impact — on humanity and nature. And often it isn't even more expensive.

The more conscious world, one click away.

That's why for now it's invite-only — so it's obvious we're in this together, that it only grows because you and I do the work of using it and inviting someone else too.

Can you think of anything more powerful to trigger this domino effect, until every human being has, one click away, the kindest option for humanity and the planet?

👉 If not, support the Hawimi.ai conscious search engine here

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I choose to keep pushing the first piece. I choose to believe it's possible. I choose, if you want, to do it with you.

Loto Founder of Hawimi™ We Choose Kindness™

P.S. If any of this moved something in you, here are four ways to keep going:

① Sign the Kindness Agreement yourself — the first step, symbolic and real.

② Join a Hawimi Inner Circle™ — max 12 people, minimum 8 weeks. In Spanish, here.

③ Share this newsletter with someone you think would appreciate it. Direct link here.

④ Reply to me here… What did you stop doing or dreaming you could do when you were still a kid? Or what do you think of the conscious search engine? I read everything.